Goblins (Im)perfect Plan

YOUR PLAN IS PERFECT, WHAT COULD EVER GO WRONG?

Everything. Absolutely everything.

Welcome to Goblins (Im)perfect Plan, the one-page RPG where your genius is matched only by your spectacular incompetence. This isn't a game about heroes, treasure, or saving the world. It's about you and your goblin pals trying to achieve something utterly pointless—like stealing a wizard's ugliest hat or convincing a goat it's a dragon—and watching your "flawless" plan explode in your face.

SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE A GENIUS?

You'll start with a stupidly brilliant objective. Then, step-by-step, you'll build the plan to make it happen. But here's the catch: for every step you add, you draw a card from the Deck of Chaos (an absolutely normal deck with diamonds, heart etc)

Maybe your rope turns out to be made of sausage. Maybe you fall deeply in love with the squeaky door you were meant to sneak through. Or maybe your brilliant idea attracts a flock of kleptomaniac seagulls. The plan will go off the rails. Your job is to narrate the glorious, spiraling disaster.

This is collaborative storytelling at its most chaotic. The goal isn't to win. The goal is to fail spectacularly.

WHY YOU'LL LOVE FAILING

• ZERO PREP, INSTANT CHAOS: Got a deck of cards, a pen, and paper? You're ready. This is the perfect "I'm bored, let's do something weird" game.
• RULES SO SIMPLE, A GOBLIN WROTE THEM: Add a step. Draw a card. Describe the mess. That's it. You'll be playing in under 5 minutes.
• FAST, FRANTIC, AND FUNNY: An entire saga of failure in under an hour! Perfect for a one-shot, a party game, or a warm-up for your regular RPG night.
• EMBRACE YOUR INNER IDIOT: Finally, a game that rewards your worst ideas. The more ridiculous your plan, the better the story.

YOUR GOBLIN TOOLKIT

• 2-5 players who aren't afraid to look silly
• A single sheet of paper (The Sacred Plan)
• A pen (The Spear of Destiny)
• A standard 52-card deck + Jokers (The Deck of Chaos)

Ready to prove your genius? Grab your friends, a deck of cards, and prepare for the most successful failure of your lives.